All Things I Need to Know in Life I Learned From My Mom.

This is a take on the familiar "All I need to know in life I learned in kindergarten." I spent the weekend with my mother and had a wonderful time. She really is an amazing person and though she often bears the brunt of my teasing, her presence in my life is a blessing.

Always practice good manners- you did not grow up in a barn. Saying "Buck up honey, this too shall pass," to someone who is in need is not exactly comforting. Just because you know your right hand from your left doesn't mean you will know which way is East or West. Beating a dead horse when attempting to drive home a point will just cause your audience to tune you out. Saying "I know" as a response to the dead horse conversation WILL NOT stop the lecture- It actually makes it worse. You will never graduate from mommy school- a mother will always dispense advice, direction, criticism and love- deal with it. Always be the bigger person- your strength of character is not relative to the circumstance that tests it. Always have your house ready for company- you never know who may stop by. Go with the flow- it causes less stress.

Only truly confident and fashion-forward people can pull off the "dressy sweat outfit" look and pair it with knee highs and flats and still manage to be cute. People with lots of hair look silly in hats- give up and get over it. Never sunbathe with Baby oil and iodine- you'll pay for it 40 years later. If you wear a yellow sweater with a yellow skirt and yellow flats you will be teased. Clunky shoes make you look like you have "hooves" for feet.

Love and give with your whole heart and don't ask what's in it for you. Laughter is the best therapy. Do whatever it takes to "GIT ER DONE." Kill them with kindness. Be patient. Listen first, react second. Showing up right on time does not mean you're running late. Remaining idle is a waste of time, there is always something productive to do. It is OK to ask for help. Your taste buds change every 7 years- try it even if you don't think you like it. Share. Concentrate on the task at hand. Indecisiveness hinders progress. Don't be afraid to be wrong.

Standing with hands on hips and right foot sticking out does not command attention. Communicate and be clear about what you want. Send thank you notes and make them personal. Read directions first if you have no clue what you're doing. Don't be afraid to try. Failure only exists if you're unable to learn from your mistakes. Forgive- it goes along with "being the bigger person." You don't have to yell in order for your voice to be heard.

Your success in life will depend on how quickly you can adjust to the curve balls life throws you. Pray- God will never give you more than you can handle- have faith. Smile. Be gracious and humble. Don't procrastinate.

Saying "Judas Priest" when you're shocked often makes people laugh. No one knows what "piffle" means unless you knew Pearl. A real lady never swears or burps. Don't crack your knuckles. And lastly-- If you put something in a safe spot- MAKE SURE you remember where the "safe spot" is, otherwise this safe spot becomes the Bermuda triangle of all things lost.

I'm certain there are many more Magisms, but alas, I must move on.