A Snapshot Of My Life In Late 2005

I save the emails I've sent. Oftentimes when I sound off on an email it is an honest reflection of where I was mentally and emotionally in that instant. I save them to serve as a reminder of the ebbs and flows of my life.

I am copying an email I sent to two of my best friends from college. This email is probably one of the funniest things I've ever written and it refers largely to the beginning of my father's illness and our ability to handle it all.

It was titled: And the Punches Keep on Coming....

Hi girls.
Happy holidays.

Ang, first of all, you are a dear. I just received your gifts, I love them. I had full intentions of buying you and Ms. Kapela your own handheld electronic free cell game, however, apparently everyone at target wants one of these things, so x-mas may be in January....
-
George was able to get a leave from the hospital and spent x-mas w/ us. He is OK and improving slowly, however he has a GINORMOUS bedsore that required operating. It is currently 7 cm long, 8 cm wide and 6 1/2 cm deep. Think grapefruit... in the ass. He has a wound vacuum that is continually draining it, and this has hindered his recovery. However, he was released today and is now at home w/ a home health care person, a PT and an OT who also come to visit. Margaret's head is spinning.
-
It turns out my cat, Yiddy, is a big skank. She contracted chlamydia. How the fuck did she get that, and can I get it, and since I don't have it, how the hell did SHE get it? These were questions I asked the vet. Rest assured I'm not a risk for catching an STD from my cat...
-
Well, you all know how I love to fall, so x-mas eve wouldn't be right w/ out me stumbling over my brother's dog, his kid and him while trying to walk down the hallway. Oh and that series of pops and cracks going down the right knee, that's normal, right? And the onslaught of tears, b/c I NEVER cry, but try telling that to my now irrational mind that only feels pain! So, b/c my mother has enough stress I refused to go to the ER, and I convinced myself it was nothing. I'm pretty persuasive and was doing just a fine job "convincing" myself that my knee really wasn't THAT swollen, and I could sorta walk. I mean, I got the flu on x-mas day and stayed in bed until 12/27 so, an achy knee was not that big of a deal. Yeah, well yesterday in the ER after it had popped out of place from "walking" it suddenly became apparent to me that it might be an issue. I hear rumblings of tearing my ACL since I described the pain as "burning." BUT since my knee has swollen to the size of my ass, they can't x-ray it properly until the swelling goes down. So yours truly is now under the care of an orthopedic surgeon and a knee brace w/ some crutches and some really great pain pills. The crutches are in my trunk where they will stay as I refuse to acknowledge this development. I'm in such denial over this injury I actually decided to flip and rotate my queen mattress by myself prior to going to the ER. I drove to the ER myself and drove my ass home, leg practically hanging out the window b/c the brace they gave me forces my leg to be STRAIGHT. I don't have time for this and really don't care to deal with it at this point. Hello, I live alone, I have to work and drive somehow. DUH. Unfortunately, it appears that the only thing I can do w/o is the crutches. I go back to the Dr next Friday to discuss my "options." blah.

I once had new years plans, but now I don't. Instead my mother, who we all know has nothing else to do, is coming down to pick me up b/c she doesn't trust me to stay by myself and off my leg for 3 days. So instead of going out and living it up with my friends, I'll be home w/ my dad...sitting next to his wound vac watching it drain shit from the hole in his ass.

I know you're laughing, admit it, I am too. How could you not?

E
Yeah.... Here we are now... My father has passed, my knee is better, crutches were still in the trunk until I bought a new car in March of 2008, my cat survived her STD, and I never did get those pocket free cell games for my friends.