I Must Be Missing a Gene

I've had an interesting week. In spite of being under heavy deadlines and stress at work, I managed to squeeze in some personal time with my friends. I firmly believe laughter can be the best therapy, but admittedly, I have left both evenings with 2 different social groups feeling slightly puzzled.

It boils down to me being a single woman; a title I relish. Several times this week when I unabashedly answered, "No, I'm not married, nor am I looking to get married in the near future," I heard, "Don't worry, the Right One will come along," or, "You just haven't found the right person yet."

Here's where I'm just going to open up and sound off....

Under what impression are you insinuating my life will not be enriched nor will I be truly blessed unless I get married? Does it look like I define myself by whether or not a ring adorns the 4th finger on my left hand? Where is it written that the successes, hopes, dreams, and happiness of my life will be determined by the cut, clarity, carat, or color of a diamond?

Don't get me wrong. I'm not anti-marriage/relationship, whatever. In fact, I'm open to the idea... But I refuse to believe if it doesn't happen for me, I'm going sit back and reflect on my time on earth and say, "Boy, my life would have been so much more fulfilling if I'd only gotten married..." And I find it condescending when people try to assure me it will happen... someday. It makes me feel they believe my life to be lacking--which then leads me down the path of feeling judged. I know it's a stretch, and perhaps this is a tender issue for me, but I don't need people to feel sorry for me. I am a happy successful woman who is blessed with wonderful friendships, 742 trump cards, and a family who is ever -present in just about every faction of my life. I know what it is to feel treasured, loved and cherished, and I know how to reciprocate. Enough said.

This brings me to my second night... Perhaps it's ME, who's not cut out for this marriage thing. I sat and listened to 2 of my friends, both of whom are married, talk about their spouses. One was a male and one a female. I understand relationships are all about compromise, but all I heard tonight was insecurity, mistrust and ultimatums... And both profess to be happily married. What was even more ironic is they sought advice from me. I was told that by remaining single, I still have every shred of rationale and logical reasoning which tends to float out the window once vows are exchanged. I laughed and dispensed the best advice I knew... COMMUNICATE... to which I received blank stares. This is inconceivable to me. I mean, you have selected this person to be your LIFE PARTNER, your sole mate... what do you mean you can't communicate? I'm sure this is inexperience here, but I thought the whole point of marriage was to have someone walk with you during your journey through life... A partner, or teammate to share in the experience. If communication fails, so does everything else, right?

My head began to hurt. I don't know if it was the several glasses of wine or the heap of contradictions being tossed on my plate. I left, thankful to be going home alone and comforted in knowing I only have to be accountable to and for myself.