The Journal

Yeah, this is going to be one of those times when I'm not exactly sure what's going to come out in this post. For as long as I could write and spell, I've kept a journal. I have managed to hold onto them from April of 1990 to now. Unfortunately, for some reason, I stopped writing back in 2004 or 2005. I don't really know why, either, b/c it was in my journal that I would seek solace and be comforted by whatever flowed from my hand. I wrote without fear of conflict or judgement because I knew the thoughts were my own and stemmed from the purest place inside of me.

I used to get teased in college about my journal. What did I write about? How could I have THAT MUCH to write when I hardly exercised my opinion? It's true. I would disappear to some random corner in the dorm, to the formal gardens, on a rooftop, anywhere where I could be alone with my thoughts.

I miss my journal. As I go back and read my entries, I CRACK UP laughing. It is so interesting to see how my thoughts were reflected by emotions and the inexperience of youth. I can tell instantly by my handwriting what kind of mood I was in.

I think for your reading pleasure, I will give you a sample of my journal when I was in middle school. -- And before I write it, I must first say-- How ridiculous is it to write, "Dear Journal, How are you? I'm fine..." I crack myself up.

Monday, August 20th, 1990 10:30 PM

Dear Journal,
HI! What's up? Not much here. I had to get up this morning at 7:00. YUK! I had a piano lesson today. (What a drag) Piano is very stupid. After piano, I stayed home and read a book. Billy and Matt came in soaked w/ mud. I helped Billy with his clothes (not that I wanted to.) I washed my hair and watched some tv for the rest of the evening. Well, Gotta Go. Bye
Erin.
PS. 7 days until 6th grade.

I'm laughing hysterically about helping "Billy with his clothes." What the hell does that mean !?!?! I was 11 years old when I wrote this, and Billy is my best friend's older brother and NOW my Insurance agent!!!! I couldn't STAND Billy when I was this age b/c he and my brother would torment me.

Yeah... Something tells me I should start writing again. Hopefully 10 years from now, I'll look back on the mistakes of my 20's and laugh like I am now about my adolescence.