Backbone, anyone?

This week's lesson I have to learn is not everyone is going to like you ALL the time. This is a hard one for me b/c look who my mother is! I don't know one person who has an ill-word to say about my mother. Granted I may be partial, but seriously- even her co-workers call her "Lady Margaret!"

I can count on one hand the amount of arguments I've had in the past 10 years. I feel much more comfortable exercising diplomacy and generally let go of my personal issues in order to maintain harmony. It's all immaterial anyway, and unless i feel my integrity or honor is being called into question, it's generally not worth my time. I believe this is the result of growing up with someone who had a trigger-happy temper, and I learned words said in anger can be hurtful and while it is easy to forgive, it is hard to forget.

This week, my integrity was called into question by a coworker who is also my friend. Like most arguments, it has stemmed from a glitch in the communication lines and while my intentions were pure and in the service of being a friend, she does not see it this way.

In years past, I would be devastated. I HATE CONFLICT, and I hate feeling I have been misunderstood. However, in this particular circumstance I don't feel the need to justify my motives. I clarified the actions that were misinterpreted and said I had a clear heart and conscience about my role and have moved on.

She is still not speaking to me. Admittedly, I'm saddened by this. Maybe it will blow over, and maybe it won't. I wrestle the the notion of compromising my integrity in order to maintain peace and again remind myself of the lesson I'm being taught: Nowhere is it written that I must loved by all in order to succeed in life. While it would be nice, it's unrealistic ;-)